Hi there, friend!
For me, it started one morning
this past week when I awoke with a vivid
memory of a beautiful, valuable gold
bracelet that had been given to me 20 years
ago by someone that I dated briefly. One
evening, I wore the bracelet to my
saxophone performance, and there it was
taken from me without my knowing it. This
happened at least 5 years ago, but the
grief of the loss and the disappointment in
myself for being so vulnerable still makes
me sick to my stomach.
I began to pull that thread a
little. What else has been taken from me
that is still a burden on my heart? The
sweater began to unravel.
Performing music has not only been
my livelihood for the past 36 years, it is
also my passion. The lockdowns during the
pandemic took ALL of my gigs from me. This
is the longest time in my career that I
have gone without playing live music for
audiences with a band of my talented
musician friends. This is a huge loss for
me on so many levels.
As it turns out, these memories
were just the beginning of excavating some
deep grief, disappointment and pain that
was still weighing me down.